


Then You Look At Me

by obidalanetwork_archivist



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Complete, Movie: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-17
Updated: 2008-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obidalanetwork_archivist/pseuds/obidalanetwork_archivist
Summary: Amidala's thoughts about Anakin and Obi-Wan . . .(no love triangle)
Collections: Obidala Network





	Then You Look At Me

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Nadia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Obidala Network](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Obidala_Network) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2020. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Obidala Network’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/obidalanetwork/profile).  
> Disclaimers: Star Wars belongs only to George Lucas. I'm making no money $$$$$ off of this, or any of my other works. It's just pure fun. "Then You Look at Me" belongs to Celine Dion. Okay, so I'm in a Celine Dion music mood. Just go with it. )

Amidala sat up in her bed, heart racing and sheets tangled with sweat. She glanced around her room. No, not her room. She was in a cabin on a ship. Suddenly, it all came back to her.

She was with Obi-Wan. Anakin had almost reached them; they had barely made it out of Naboo alive. She closed her eyes, recalling the echos of blaster shots. Obi-Wan had roused her out of her bed at the late hour. She could contemplate the concern on his face. She remembered how he peered out of her door to make sure they wouldn't be seen. They scurried across the hallway, and that's when the shots came.

She had screamed not knowing what else to do. Obi-Wan was alarmed. He had not expected that. He quickly grabbed her, pushing her behind one of the stone pillars. She cringed as she remembered the burnt smell of skin on his arm . . .

Somehow, they had made it out of there. They took one of the shuttles in the hanger and they were now heading directly to Dagobah. The Jedi had explained to her that Master Yoda had a plan. She trusted them, hoping that this trust was not in vain as it had been with Anakin.

Laugh and cry, live and die,

life is a dream we are dreaming.

Day by day, I find my way.

Look for the soul and the meaning.

How funny her life had changed so recently. Hers and Obi-Wan's. She remembered laughing with him, and with Ani. Now, all she could recall was crying. Long, endless nights she had been crying. Crying for Anakin, crying for Obi-Wan, crying for the life that she would never have.

She had lived, but then she died. She died when Anakin left her, left her for his new love; the love of the dark side. She didn't understand it; didn't want to, and just couldn't. She wouldn't.

She wanted to believe that she was living in a dream, a horrible dream that no one would have, and that all she needed to do was wake up, and Anakin would be next to her, waiting for her. But, she knew that it could never be. Anakin was gone, and he will never be back.

Each day she had to struggle. Not a second went by when she didn't think of him. She found her was slowly through it, but she often lost her way. She couldn't handle it anymore. She was on the verge of breaking. She had lost her soul and the what it meant.

Then you look at me,

and I always see

what I have been searching for.

I'm lost as can be, then you look at me,

and I am not lost anymore.

Then, she remembered how she managed to get through it. Obi-Wan had helped her so much. Without him, she knew that she would have gone insane. She remembered the way that he would look at her when she cried, and she knew that he cared.

Anakin was her lover, but she knew that Obi-Wan would always be her friend. She couldn't love Obi-Wan. It would be too painful. She couldn't betray Anakin as he had betrayed her. She wouldn't allow herself to stoop to his level.

But, she did hold Obi-Wan in a special place, a place where Anakin never had been and never would be in. Obi-Wan had instilled in her hope, and that meant more to her than love itself.

People run side to side,

cutting their lives ever flowing.

Once begone, life goes still, it's gone.

We have to go where it's going.

He thoughts returned to the present. She had been driven out of her home, and her life was now gone, though it had been stilled and ended long ago. Now, she felt like a pebble in a river, not in control of where it was going, just being directed. She had to go where her river was taking her, her and Obi-Wan.

A small knock came from her door. Obi-Wan stepped inside, already seeming to know that she was awake. He said nothing, just slouched in a chair beside her bed.

"We're almost there, just a few more hours and we'll be set."

"Until when?" She knew he was holding back, and normally she would have been grateful for it, but she did not want to play games now. She was not in the mood.

He paused, searching for the words. "Until your children are born."

"Then what?"

"I'm not sure. We'll have plenty of time to figure that out. Right now, we just need to lay low and play it safe. We need as much protection as possible." Obi-Wan stared at her, waiting for her to say something.

But, she didn't respond. She just stared back . . .

The you look at me,

and I always see

what I have been searching for.

I'm lost as can be, then you look at me,

and I am not lost anymore.

Somehow, they would get through it. Somehow . . .


End file.
